Life in the Fast Lane

A TRIATHLETE'S MULTISPORT ADVENTURES, TRAVELS, RANDOM MUSINGS, AND CHRONICLES OF HER OTHERWISE ORDINARY LIFE

In The Morning

By 11:29 AM , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It's been a full day since our beloved Shadow went home to Dog Heaven. I woke up this morning with that thought in mind, fully aware that my day would begin and end without him physically present anymore.

I readied myself to go to work. On my way out the front door, I unconsciously and automatically took one large step over the doormat. This has been a habit of everyone in the family especially these last few months. That doormat became Shadow's self-proclaimed bed and every time any of us would need to go outside, we'd have to step over him and the mat so as not to awaken him.

Today, there was no Shadow to serve as a hurdle between our house and the outside world. No longer would I need to take any step that large. As soon as that realization hit me, a lump in my throat started to form.

That, and other little things (like no longer needing to buy the kind of treats whose number of pieces have to be divisible by three) are what I've been thinking of.

Reality is slowly settling in.

Even for our other two dogs, Buddy and Cassie. They've been quiet and somber; they know that they have a fallen comrade. They feel his absence and in their own canine ways, they are grieving.

I'm just trying to be strong, knowing that Shadow wouldn't want this. That if he were around, he'd look at me with his big brown eyes. He'd try to reach for my slipper and make me chase after him in our little garden.

Buddy and Cassie lost their canine pack leader and mentor. Our family lost a valuable and irreplaceable member.

But we have to move on. Bit by bit. Slowly but surely. Trying to incorporate fond memories of him into our day-to-day existence.

In the meantime, I take comfort in Psalm 30:5. I doodled this earlier today to remind myself that, in time, we'll be able to look back on today with a smile.

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