Life in the Fast Lane

A TRIATHLETE'S MULTISPORT ADVENTURES, TRAVELS, RANDOM MUSINGS, AND CHRONICLES OF HER OTHERWISE ORDINARY LIFE

What I Don't Know And What I Do Know

By 5:24 PM , , , , ,

Sometimes, I wish I understood everything as they happened. Especially when things don't make sense to me; when they crush my spirit and break my will.

Disappointment is inevitable, I know that. And, really, there are only two ways to deal with it. You surrender to His perfect will and pick yourself up again, trusting that things will fall into place.

But that very moment when it hits you, when it makes you question all the why's and how's that constitute that moment, it hurts. It leaves you gasping for breath. Like every fiber of your being has been stripped of whatever dignity it once possessed. Like there's no getting out of that black hole that just sucked you in.

So you cry. And you let your heart continue to break into tiny pieces. You give in to that gallon of Rocky Road and take yourself to another dimension, courtesy of your DVD player. Anything's better than reality at this point, anyway.

But at some point, you realize you're no longer crying. Sure the pain's there, but instead of searing jabs to your heart, it has somehow downgraded to dull thuds; just enough to remind you of where you were then and how you're doing now.

You take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are no longer filled with tears. Neither are your irises devoid of the lifelessness that once consumed you. Instead, they look forward at your reflection; you see determination, purpose, and drive written all over.

You may still be unsure of what's next, but at least you're now ready to try. So you take those tentative steps forward, hoping that, as the sun sets, they will lead you to a better and brighter tomorrow.

And believe me, they will.

I may not know and understand everything now, but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's this: TOMORROW will be beautiful. It will leave you breathless and take you to places you've never dreamed of.


Because He's holding you with one hand and carrying your future in the other.

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