Life in the Fast Lane

A TRIATHLETE'S MULTISPORT ADVENTURES, TRAVELS, RANDOM MUSINGS, AND CHRONICLES OF HER OTHERWISE ORDINARY LIFE

Dear Mom and Dad

By 10:10 AM , , , , , ,

DISCLAIMER: This entry was inspired by the series of messages being given at our church, CCF, on the importance of family and building positive relationships. But this may not necessarily reflect the church's views on family dynamics; these are mostly my own reflections and musings.

This goes out to everyone who still considers himself or herself a "kid".


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Dear Mom and Dad,

You may not know or see this, but I really need you in my life.

I need you to listen to me when I'm feeling down. Sometimes, I just want to talk and not be talked down to. I want to cry, I want to rant, I want to reason out, I want to bawl, I want to blab. When there is nothing left to say, when there are no tears left in me, that's when I can appreciate your wisdom and insight. That's when I'll be open to listen to your feedback, correction and even rebuke. But don't forget to hug me afterwards, okay? There's nothing quite like a hug or a pat on the back from you to give me a much-needed boost of morale.

I also need you to be with me — not just when I feel bad. I'd actually like for us to do fun things together like shop, watch basketball games, pig out, or go out of town. I feel bad when I don't see you by the time I go to bed because you're busy working overtime. Honestly, I consider something as simple as laughing with you while playing a game of Monopoly as priceless; something money can't ever buy or pay for. I'd like for us to hang out like friends and to genuinely enjoy each other's company.

I need you to realize that I'm changing. I'm no longer that little boy or girl whom you could corner into doing things (and spank if said things weren't done). I'm growing up. I need you to recognize that while I'm still (and will always be) your child, the way you treat me will have to change. I can't respond to you the way I could when I was in preschool or when I was 11. If you must get mad at me, I'd really appreciate it if you could reason with me in an age-appropriate way. I'm old enough to understand and process what you want to say and it really hurts when you treat me as if I were still a toddler.

I need you to recognize me as uniquely me. I am not you, I am not my brothers or my sisters, I am not my classmate who graduated valedictorian, or the "It" guy or girl on campus, or my friend who made his first million at the age of 24. My personality, strengths and weaknesses are mine and mine alone. I need you to respect my individuality and affirm me for being different. I will never be able to live up to your standards if you constantly compare me to other people.

I need you to know that I watch the things you do and that you influence me so much. Whether you know it or not, I've picked up a lot of things from you that you might not be aware of. Like the way you view things, the way you react to negative situations or to crises, the way you take your faith seriously (or not), the way you treat people, the way you work, the way you value the family. These things continue to make me who I am today and determine how I'll be as a spouse and as a parent someday.

I need you to show me how to operate in this world. It's because of your example and guidance that I'll know how to deal with all kinds of people; how to hold on to the values you passed on to me despite pressure from every imaginable side; how to be the person you want me to be.

I need you to understand that even if it seems that I take you for granted sometimes, that's really not the case. I lash out or act up sometimes because I need you to notice me; even if it means being scolded at or grounded. I might ignore your existence because I can't seem to talk to you even if I'm dying to say something. I need you to try hard to reach out to me when I don't know how to get through to you. I might be stiff at first, but in time, I'll come to appreciate your efforts and reciprocate.

I need you to show me that you're only human, too. That you make mistakes, that things don't always go according to plan. I need to see that you're not too proud to say sorry when you're wrong, that it's okay to cry, but most of all, that you know how to get up after a fall.

I need you to realize that even if we may not see things eye to eye — maybe because of that so-called generation gap or personality differences — your opinion will always matter. Like it or not, in time, I will also come to recognize that you were right all along. (As usual.)

I need you to embody Jesus' love and forgiveness for me so that I'll be able to extend that same kind of love and forgiveness to others.

Bottomline is: I need you to see just how important you are to me.

I really, really, really need you to love me as I love you.

Love,
Your Son or Daughter

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2 comments

  1. Awwww...It's like I'm hearing myself writing this, too! haha! :) Love it, Tins! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, Ives! Glad that I was able to write this down for Him. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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