Life in the Fast Lane

A TRIATHLETE'S MULTISPORT ADVENTURES, TRAVELS, RANDOM MUSINGS, AND CHRONICLES OF HER OTHERWISE ORDINARY LIFE

Day 13: A Letter to Someone Who Has Recently Hurt Me

By 8:48 AM , , ,

Dear You,

I wish you were a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or even someone I don't particularly like. I'd talk to you and straighten things out. I might not have the guts to do so, but at least the option to try would always be there.

Yet you aren't any of them. You aren't like anyone I know, come to think of it.

You aren't capable of empathy, or at the least, sympathy.

You only strike when I'm particularly vulnerable.

You have a penchant for catching me off-guard.

You know just what buttons to press to make me question and feel bad about myself.

Disappointment, I wish I never met you.

You are many things and you make your rounds in many ways. Sometimes, you manifest yourself to me through the people I love dearly. You cause them to say something hurtful or do something that lets me down. Other times, you take the form of situations. Like plans that don't follow through or expectations that can't be met.

Every now and then, you are thoughts that creep into my head -- What If's that might not materialize, Things That Could Have Been. There are also times when I want to slap myself silly because you can be so darn trivial. You make me want to eat Doritos bag after Doritos bag and gain 20 lbs. in one night. Or grab the person beside me and talk his/her ear's off, even if he/she isn't ready to hear me out. Or write until my hand feels paralyzed. Or pray until it feels like minutes have turned into hours.

You are failure and you are fault. You are insecurity and you are insensitivity. You are uncontrollable and most of the time, you are unfathomable.

But without you, I wouldn't be a better person.

I wouldn't be able to appreciate the good times, the people who matter most to me. I would be narrow-minded, looking at life through just one perspective. I wouldn't learn, grow and be stronger. There wouldn't be a need for God; I'd simply become too self-sufficient to the point of complacency. It is because of you that my faith is tested and my character, molded into what He wants me to be.

So at the end of it all, I have to thank you. I am better because of you and in spite of you.

(I just hope that I won't have to see you very often.)

Sincerely,
Me

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2 comments

  1. Love this, Tin.

    Dondi has often told us that people will always disapppoint you.. that's why we shouldn't trust anyone but Him. It's hard, though; but you're right. All these trials are given to us because God wants to teach us something. They test our character and basically just help us become the God-centric people we ought to be.

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  2. Amen to that, Twin! Focus on Him, not on people and on the circumstances. :)

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